


Help, a Mutual Friend Said My Wife and I Have Kyerumption

by GeckoGirl89



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Cordelia POV, Crack, Dorky Angel, Episode Tag, Episode: s03e12 Provider, F/M, Fluff, Fred Ships It, Getting Together, Humor, Pining, Realizations, Sappy Angel, Series/Season 03, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-08-24 07:45:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8363851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeckoGirl89/pseuds/GeckoGirl89
Summary: One link stood out among the others: a site he visited a few times called “Help, My Wife” on LiveJournal. What was Angel of all people doing looking at a blogging platform? Cordy didn’t even know that Angel knew what LiveJournal was.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired by Prompt #499 on otpisms on tumblr (http://otpisms.tumblr.com): _Imagine your OTP with at least 1 girl submitting something to the “Help, my wife” page on Tumblr._ The "Help, my wife page" (http://help-mywife.tumblr.com) is for women loving women, and I decided to keep the original spirit of the blog intact in this fic in a way that will hopefully make sense. I was particularly inspired by one of the submissions to that blog, which you can read here: http://help-mywife.tumblr.com/post/151039676507/help-my-wife-is-actually-my-platonic-friend-who-i
> 
> This fic is set the morning after the final scene in 3.12 (Provider). The premise of the fic is pretty cracky, but I tried to keep Angel and Cordelia as in character as possible. Also, it's my first time writing anything for this fandom longer than a drabble.

Cordelia left Angel upstairs asleep with Connor. When Cordy had woken up, she discovered that Angel must have gotten up during the night and put Connor in his crib since the baby was no longer lying between them. After checking on Connor and learning that he was sleeping just as soundly as his father, Cordy took a quick shower in Angel’s bathroom and changed into some clothes that she kept at the hotel just in case she needed to spend the night.

When Cordelia arrived downstairs, she saw Fred sitting alone at the counter eating a bowl of cereal and drinking a cup of coffee. Fred smiled brightly when she spotted her. “Hey, Cordy. Did you spend the night here?”

Cordy shrugged and went to fix her own cup of coffee. “Yeah. I was pretty tired last night, so I spent the night in Angel’s room. Why?”

Fred’s smile grew even bigger, and she was practically bouncing. “No reason.” Fred started to cough, and Cordelia almost thought she might have said that weird word she used a few weeks ago, “kyerumption” or something.

Cordy was frankly too tired to attempt to decipher what Fred’s zany antics could possibly mean. “Bless you,” she told Fred. Coffee in hand, she made her way over to the desk Angel regularly used and sat down in front of his computer. “I’m going to get a start on research for our latest client. I’ll see what Angel was checking out yesterday.”

“Sounds like a good plan.”

Cordy booted up the computer and waited for the opening screen to pop up. Once it did, Cordy pondered what password Angel might use for a few seconds and then decided to input Connor’s birthday. Bingo. She knew that sappy vampire backwards and forwards.

As she checked Angel’s Internet history, she saw the typical websites they used for their work:  _The Los Angeles Times_ ,  _Demons Demons Demons_ , the LAPD’s website, etc. One link stood out among the others: a site he visited a few times called “Help, My Wife” on LiveJournal. What was Angel of all people doing looking at a blogging platform? Cordy didn’t even know that Angel knew what LiveJournal was.

Curious, Cordelia clicked on the link and realized that the blog couldn’t have had anything to do with their current case. It seemed to be a site where anonymous users submitted cute stories about their wives, and all of the users seemed to be very happily married. Frowning in thought, Cordy clicked on the profile tab to find out more. Apparently, this site was created by and for “WLW.” Unfamiliar with that acronym, she typed in “WLW definition” into Google and got a website about LGBT terms as the first link. She clicked on the page and found out that “WLW” stands for “women loving women” and is a term used in the LGBT community to refer to lesbians and bisexual women as a group. Why would Angel be spending so much time on a website about gay women? It didn’t make any sense.

“Hey Fred, did you use Angel’s computer yesterday?” Cordy asked.  _Is Fred gay?_ Cordelia didn’t think so, but she was the only other woman in the office and it would have made more sense for Fred to be looking at this website than Angel. “I’m not judging, if you were,” she added. Cordy didn’t want to make Fred feel like she was being ganged up on if she actually was attracted to other women.

“No,” Fred shook her head. She didn’t seem to be hiding anything. “Why?”

“Something a little odd popped up in Angel’s Internet history, but I think he just randomly clicked on a link by accident.”

“Probably. He doesn’t always seem to understand the latest technology.”

“True.” Cordelia recalled how Angel sometimes had issues using his cell phone and knew Fred was right about his issues with technology. But this seemed different. Angel had visited this website multiple times yesterday. Cordelia decided to check his Internet history that week, and found that he had looked at the website several times throughout the week.  _Maybe Willow sent him the link?_

Cordy opened up AOL Instant Messenger and saw that Willow was online. After greeting her, Cordy asked if Willow had sent Angel the link to “Help, My Wife” on Livejournal. Willow replied, _“No, I’ve never heard of that website. Why do you ask?”  
_

Cordy shook her head and typed back, _“No reason. Angel just seemed to visit this page about gay women loving their partners a lot, and I’m not sure why else he would be visiting that page so often.”  
_

Willow inserted a laughing emoticon with her next reply. _“LOL. Maybe he didn’t know the website was about lesbians. Who knows? Listen, I have to go right now. I’ll TTYL.”_

Cordy said goodbye to Willow and logged out of the chat. Cordy looked at the main page again and saw that most of the posts didn’t indicate that the submission came from a woman, so Willow may have been right. If Angel didn’t check the profile tab, he might not have known the blog was about gay and bi women. Cordelia still felt confused about why Angel was visiting this blog so often. He could be pretty sappy sometimes, but he wasn’t married.  _Maybe he just thought the blog was cute?_

Cordelia scrolled through the blog and found an entry from a few weeks ago with that strange word Fred used a few minutes ago, “kyerumption.” The post read, _“Help, a mutual friend said that my wife and I have kyerumption today. Once I figured out what she meant, I was really happy about the idea that my wife and I are sort of ‘fated’ to be together.”_

Cordelia’s eyes widened. Was Angel writing submissions for this blog? Fred had been saying that word an awful lot lately, and it didn’t sound like a normal English word. Cordy glanced up from her computer. “Hey, Fred?” Fred turned from her spot by the counter. “Do you remember that thing you said to me a few weeks ago just before Darla showed up here? Kyerumption or something? What did you mean by that?”

Fred grinned. “Kyerumption is one of the few nice words I remember from Pylea. It’s when two heroes meet on a field of battle and recognize their mutual fate.”

“That sounds… nice,” Cordy replied unsurely. She didn’t know who that could apply to.

“Yep. Like you and Angel.” Fred nodded decisively.

“Me… and Angel?” Cordy was stunned.

“Yep.” Fred finished her cup of coffee and stood up with the empty cup and bowl. “I’m going to rinse these out, then I’ll be in Wesley’s office looking up stuff for the case. Let me know if you need anything else.”

“Sure,” Cordy answered absently. She barely noticed as Fred walked out of the room because her mind was suddenly racing with thoughts. If Angel’s “mutual friend” was Fred and Fred thought they had kyerumption, then that would mean Angel thought of her as  **his wife**. But that clearly couldn’t be the case, could it?

In her distraction, Cordy accidentally opened the Microsoft Word application. A recovered document popped up entitled “Submissions.”  _Very subtle there, mister._ According to this document, Angel had been writing several submissions to the “Help, My Wife” blog. Cordelia’s heart started to race when she read one of the submissions, and she realized that it couldn’t have been about anyone but her.

_“Help, my wife has the most chaotic filing system in the world. I pretend to act annoyed when I can’t find what I need, but I don’t know how I would live without her weird attempts at organizing. My wife is so adorable.”_

Cordelia’s eyes misted with tears as she read the other things Angel had written about her. She had no idea he felt this way.

_“Help, my wife made me waffles and coffee today and we had breakfast together even though I don’t normally eat breakfast. I love spending time with her.”_

_“Help, my wife is so sweet to me and always patches up my wounds. (My job’s kind of dangerous.) I bounded over like an eager puppy to get her attention today and she called me a dork, but she was grinning when she said it. My wife is the best.”_

_“Help, my wife is always there for me, to talk me out of my so-called brooding and make me happy again.”_

_“Help, my wife and I were doing some martial arts training today, and it took all I had to not kiss her in the middle of it.”_

_“Help, my wife has the biggest smile I’ve ever seen. It always brightens my day and makes me smile, and I don’t normally smile very often.”_

_“Help, my wife is so brave and strong and has been through so much. She’s truly become an extraordinary woman.”_

_“Help, my wife holding our son has to be the most wonderful thing in existence. I love them both more than life itself.”_

_“Help, every time I hug my wife or hold her in my arms it feels so great and I never, ever want to let go.”_

_“Help, my wife is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”_

Cordelia lifted her hand to her mouth as she read the final submission in the document. Her heart broke at what Angel wrote.

_“Help, my wife isn’t really my wife. She’s my platonic friend, but I love her just as much as if she actually were my wife. I try to tell her and show her how much she means to me, but I don’t know if she really understands. I’m not sure how to tell her that I’m head over heels in love with her and I don’t know if I even should.”_

Cordelia wiped away the tears that had fallen from her eyes. Angel was obviously in love with her, but how did she feel about him? Her heart thudded in her chest as she considered the man upstairs, who apparently thought of her as  **his wife**  and considered Connor  **their son**. She thought of how content she had been the night before, lying next to Angel with Connor in between them, and planning what they might do with the money together.  _Like a family._  Cordy liked that thought. And the thought of Angel interrupting their training sessions to kiss her sent a thrill up her spine. She felt miserable at the idea that Angel might never tell her how he felt, not just for Angel, but for herself as well. Now that it was a real possibility, Cordy wanted her and Angel to be together more than anything.

Cordy clicked the link to submit to the blog and wrote the following message:

_“So, apparently my husband has been using this blog to talk about me. He’s kind of inept when it comes to technology, so you’ll have to forgive him. He didn’t mean to intrude on this blog._

_“Angel, the next time you want to kiss me you should go ahead and do it. I definitely wouldn’t say no. Also, I feel so honored that you think of me as Connor’s mother. I think I have an idea how you feel about me now, but it wouldn’t hurt a girl to hear it out loud. In case you’re **still**  being dense, I love you too, and I’ll tell you exactly how I feel if you get off the computer right now.”_

* * *

Several hours later, Angel was using the computer and everyone else was scanning through books about demons. Angel abruptly cleared his throat and everyone’s heads snapped up to look at him. Angel scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “Um, Cordy, can I go talk to you in the kitchen for a sec?” Cordy smirked, placed the book she had been reading on the cushion next to her, and sauntered into the kitchen. Angel sprang out of his chair so quickly that he almost tripped over his own two feet and eagerly followed her.

“That was weird,” Gunn said. “I wonder what’s up with Angel and Barbie.”

A few minutes later, Cordelia and Angel returned to the lobby of the hotel, and they both seemed suspiciously happy compared to how they had been earlier. Their eyes frequently met as they continued their research, and Angel had a pleased, secretive little smile on his face.

Fred sighed dreamily to herself. “It finally happened. Kyerumption.”

**Author's Note:**

> Crossposted on my tumblr here: http://geckogirl89.tumblr.com/post/152153898560/help-a-mutual-friend-said-that-my-wife-and-i-have


End file.
